Why Do You Care?

This post is late. The event happened Tuesday, just before 1:00pm on the piano bench in my family's great room. I wanted to share a revelation that shows how God turns things to the good of those who love Him.

I knew waking up that day that my mother would get out of the hospital from her surgery at 1:00 and I was invited to accompany my dad in bringing her back. That morning I had gone shopping for a memory card and some gifts, and by the time I came back I was hungry -- I hadn't eaten a decent meal since I had arrived home because right after I arrived in Illinois on Monday we went straight to my mom's hospital room.

So there, by the kitchen microwave, I had a dilemma. I asked God what He thought, but to be honest I just felt like a piece of toasted bread (to some of you, this would mean great, but when it comes to sandwiches, I like flavor and freshness--and only the lettuce should be crunchy). Plain toasted bread. Apathetic. Dried out by being in the stores (seriously, they can be overwhelming). But simply being hungry didn't seem like a legitimate excuse to not go. I though rapidly...and I vaguely thought, o yea, I should record piano improvisations while the house is quiet (my young foster sibling were at other people's houses and no one else would be home but me).

When I get home my Dad gets ready to go and I inform him of my choice.
"Hey Dad, I'm going to stay here. I haven't had a good meal since I've come home."
"Well, that's perfectly okay. Well, I'm going to go now. See you later."

Man.
I stood over the stove about to cook some vegetables and doubted. I should really go... but there is no real reason why I need to go-she will be soon home again, Dad can handle getting her home...Has his car actually left yet? Solemnly I walked to the front door to see the van slowly accelerating past the mailbox. Shoot.

Yes. I had the impression that I should go. I did not. This is what happened later as I recorded improvisation on the piano. Somewhere in the midst of playing and talking to God this dialogue happened:

Why do I feel so guilty? There wasn't really a reason for me to go.
You're right.
What do you mean? 
The only reason to go would be love.

Wow. I then had an image of a child coming back from a hospital ... would the parents be apathetic about them coming out? How many other times would I get to see my mother out of the hospital after a major surgery? I broke down after that last question. The only reason was love. Somehow that unlocked a lot of misconceptions in my mind. Why give my ceramics away instead of sell them? Because God loves the people I'm giving them to.

This is how God is. He is ecstatic to be with us. If I had gone to the hospital, nothing (according to the word) would actually have "gotten done" or "been accomplished" by just accompanying my dad--except the greatest thing of all: love would have been displayed. Song of Songs 8:6-9 comes to mind.

If a man were to give all the wealth of his house for love, he would be utterly scorned.
  
God's love is so lavish. He gave everything for us. His love is like a blazing fire and somehow I had been dulled. But He was able to rend my heart.